Tuesday, December 16, 2014

Procrastinating until it is Perfect

After thirty months of putting off the inevitable,
I am finally writing a blog post...
regarding my inability to
write good enough blog posts. 
 
 
What is good enough???

That's a good question...for me "good enough",
is what everybody else is able to do...
and I fall short on.
......... 

Good enough is:
Beautifully photographed,
amazingly written &
well thought out posts
about wonderful families &
exciting lives,
as well as funny anecdotes
regarding a small child 
or even a simple trip to the grocery store.
.........

Sounds simple enough...right???

 ......... 

Over the last two years
I have found myself wanting to write fun,
but slightly contrived daily snippets; 
those...
I am ashamed to say,
would have only been partial truths
(because the truth wouldn't have been funny enough 
or even interesting at all for that matter).
   
In trying to create a motivation to blog...
I even came up with cutesy names for each day
(like Meatless Mondays & Thankful Thursdays). 
Because I see this on so many really great blogs, 
I can only assume that this helps
the blogger keep focused
(which I desperately have needed). 
 
I have written hundreds of blog posts in my head,
but when I actually sat down to the computer
it just wasn't good enough for me to ever publish. 

.........
 
So I have written nothing...
nothing in 30 months. 
Nothing that I could say that I was proud of,
that I could say was true to me.

.........

I am such a go-getter when it comes
to so many things,
I have started two businesses from scratch,
without a dime to my name,
and I never take no for an answer,
but when it comes to
putting myself out there in this type of forum...
I am severely frightened...
incapacitated really... 
Frightened that I can not write like 
all of the other bloggers. 
Which is funny because I love being different,
and not conforming to the norm....
but for some reason this is different for me.




I know that this may sound trite,
but I am hoping that I can step out
of my comfort zone
and just write, purely and honestly. 
Not for myself to look better
or to seem just like other blog writers.
Just to be myself...
A girl who lives with her husband & kids,
in a simple suburban home.
Someone who has so many short comings.

Including procrastinating until it is perfect!!!!  
   
.........
 
Over the months I hope to give you
a touch of my life,
my loves & my hopes... 
as boring and simplistic as they may be.

.........